Returning Light

Anxiety means different things for different people, but it’s very important to realise that having an anxiety disorder, is so much different than just feeling worried or nervous about something, like an exam or an interview. Anxiety disorders can come in a few different forms such as: Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder or Social Phobia. Anxiety is something that we all experience from time to time but being nervous about something is not the same as having an anxiety disorder.

Having an anxiety disorder can be all consuming, and it fills you with an overwhelming amount of anxious thoughts and feelings about the smallest things.

I’d like to share some of my experiences and the things I’ve found out about anxiety, to help spread some understanding about it. Anxiety is not easy to live with, but there are things you can do to make it a little more manageable.

1. Anxiety can be experiencing a fight or flight reflex for something that shouldn’t produce this response. It could be rapid or shallow breathing, shaking hands or feeling light headed. For me it is my heart racing when I’m stuck in a line of traffic. I feel like I’m going to faint, or that I’ll be stuck in the traffic forever and won’t be able to get out of it. I know that my thoughts are irrational, but that doesn’t stop my heart beating, and my breathing becoming erratic, and hard to control.  To try to combat this, I am learning to focus on my breathing and to regulate it. This takes some practise, but the more I incorporate it into my life, the more invaluable it has become for me. You can learn some more about this by looking up the 4-7-8 breathing technique and belly breathing which is frequently used in yoga. Mindfulness is also another great area to research. It can help you teach yourself to stop and think about your breathing, focus on your senses and bringing awareness to the current moment.
2. Anxiety quite commonly occurs for people when they think about socialising or going to social events. It can be easier to stick to your comfort zone, going to the same places with the same people, just so that you can feel normal and comfortable. Thinking about going to new places can induce so much fear and make you feel paranoid at any given moment, as well as making you over-think every sentence you say, and action you make.Challenge yourself to do things that scare you, and to not let anxiety deprive you of fun times in your life. Try to schedule social outings, and promise yourself that you will go, even if it does scare you. Reward yourself for following your own challenge, by doing something you like, or buying yourself something small. It’s also so helpful to incorporate some exercise, even just a few walks per week into your schedule. Your head becomes clearer and you will feel so much better about yourself. Likewise, when you eat healthily, and get into a good routine with food, the results do speak for themselves, and help calm your body and mind.

   

3. Anxiety can make you feel like you need a vice, something you rely on or maybe are addicted to, to make you feel better. It’s common for people who suffer from anxiety to rely on things like caffeine, drinking alcohol, smoking or drugs. In the short term, these things provide relief and make you feel calmer or more alert. But in the long term, they are feeding into your anxiety and pro-longing and worsening its effects. Alcohol especially can be so detrimental because when you have anxiety, hangovers are multiplied by twenty. You’ll overthink every conversation you had with people, and worry that you sounded stupid, or offended someone, or made a fool of yourself. You’ll worry about things that other people didn’t even notice or remember.I think that anyone who suffers from anxiety would totally benefit from beginning to slowly reduce the amount of vices you use across a day and increase a positive thing instead. If you reduce things like caffeine, smoking and drinking, and meanwhile try to increase your water intake and exercise, you’ll have so much more clarity in your thoughts and actions and feel so much better about yourself. 
4. Anxiety can be frustrating when people don’t understand that you might find meeting up, going out, or going to new places daunting. On the flip side, it can also involve worrying that you are driving your friends away because you don’t want to go out with them, unless it’s to somewhere you feel comfortable. It’s making up excuses, so that you don’t have to put yourself through the stress of the unknown or compare your life to theirs. Anxiety can be an isolating disorder. It can leave you feeling like you are crazy when you over- think or act irrationally. Speaking from experience, I have found that if I simply voice some of my concerns to my friends, it almost always puts my mind at ease. They confirm for me that everything is okay, that I am over-thinking it, and encourage me to just come and meet them, disputing the things that are worrying me.

   

5. Anxiety can be constant tension in your muscles in your neck, back and shoulders because you are tensing your muscles so often, without even realising it sometimes, as you persistently worry about things most days. Anxiety for some people can also involve a high level of self-doubt and a lack of self-esteem.  It can involve worry that you are not good enough, at whatever that might be such as, your job, being a good friend, being fun, seeing your family enough, etc. It might sometimes feel like you are just bluffing your way through every day. Self-doubt is one of the biggest things that debilitates me personally.A few things that I have found that help to reduce tension are yoga and spending time in nature. I do a weekly yoga practice and I find it so beneficial for mental clarity. This is one hour per week that I take for myself. I am becoming steadier, more balanced and better able to just relax the more I keep going. Yoga is something I would recommend everyone to do, young or old because it is just so great for your body and your mind. Another thing I have found that helps to reduce my tension and self-doubt, is being outdoors in nature. Something about being surrounded by something so beautiful that you realise you are a tiny speck in the universe, is very grounding experience for me. Sitting by water and just thinking, has always helped me to put my mind at ease.
6. Anxiety can also be constant worry and insecurity about the future and where society tells you that you should be in life. It’s frequently thinking things like: Will I ever be truly happy? Am I doing the right job? Will I ever find a partner? Will I get married & have children? Why am I living at home when I should be travelling?To stop these kinds of thoughts, the biggest step to take it to reduce the amount of time spent on social media. This is a difficult task in our modern, technological life but the more you cut back, the less comparisons you make between your life and others’. it’s important to keep in mind, that what you see on social media, is usually not what you get, and that everyone is looking for some self-gratification and you don’t have to compare yourself to them. Just be you and let them be them.
7. Anxiety can leave you putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be better and to change things but also hating yourself for not having the motivation to follow through. It’s thinking the most negative thought, even though you know it’s silly, and won’t really happen. When you have anxiety, an unexpected phone call or message, usually leaves you jumping to the worst conclusion possible. It’s getting caught in a negative spiral of thoughts, about every bad thing you’ve ever done, or the things you should have done but didn’t and beating yourself up for them over and over again.My top recommendation for helping to reduce these negative thought patterns and beginning to increase your self-esteem is to go see a counsellor. Try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which has been proven to provide techniques and strategies to do just that. Changing your thoughts will in turn help you to change your behaviour. Counselling is a scary thing to think about doing, when you feel vulnerable, and fear being overcome by emotion when you do start to talk. You can do it, take your time and go when you’re ready! I am sure you won’t regret it.

Thanks for reading my story and I hope that hearing my account of anxiety and reading some of these simple, and practical strategies, might help you in some way. I hope that they might make your anxious days a little less anxious. Thanks also to Returning Light and The Spotlight Series for giving us this outlet to openly and honestly express our experiences with music and mental health.

We’d like to thank Elaine Gorman for this helpful piece about her experiences with anxiety and how to cope with it. 

If you or anyone you know is suffering from Mental Health issues don’t be afraid to contact local services such as Donegal Family Resourse Centre 0749725337 or Let’s Talk Counselling Service 0876884953 OR National Services Aware 1800 80 48 48 or Pieta House Freecall 1800 247 247

Click here for last week’s Spotlight Series w/Kate Gurren